P4 Final Draft

After being given feedback on my third script I made the necessary improvements to finalise my script. I added more descriptive language in order to set out the vision better for the production crew. In addition, I made some technical adjustments such as adding in camera instructions and transitions. Lastly, I was given feedback to further develop interactions between characters to give them more meaning.

P4 Third Draft

To improve from my second draft I made sure there were no gaps in the narrative, which I had left previously due to being unsure what I wanted to say. I also added in a new scene as my second draft was very short and didn't feel very developed. 

P4 Second Draft

After my first draft I needed to continue building the plot line for the extract. I also went back and added more detail to what I had already written as it was quite simplistic.

P4 First Draft

P1 Script Analysis and Job Roles

Script Analysis:

Job Roles:

D1 Met the Requirements

For this project I was asked to create a screenplay for a short (10–15 minute) dramatised sequence of my TV drama, for the purpose of promoting it to the target audience of 15-21 year olds. This meant it needed to be exciting and gripping in order to create interest among the audience.

Genre and Conflict:

One key convention of a TV drama is they are episodic, meaning the storyline is broken down into a series of around 30 minutes to an hour long episodes. This means that it is designed for a home audience as they can choose to watch it as the episodes are released or in their own timescale. In order to accommodate this, each episode of a TV drama needs to include exciting events and events that drive the plot forward so that the audience stay interested and want to keep watching. In my TV drama, each episode is around 50 minutes long. The extract I chose to write is from the start of episode 3, I made it gripping for the audience by revealing hints about aspects of the show without giving too much away and leaving the ending on a cliff hanger. 

Conflict is required in TV dramas in order to create a narrative that will be interesting for the audience. The primary conflict in my series is through the protagonist’s struggle with mental health, his decision between helping the police and committing crimes and the people around him giving him a hard time. I demonstrated conflict in the extract through the protagonist going to school and being made fun of by his fellow classmates, leading to him having a panic attack.  

The sub-genre of my series is crime drama. Crime dramas typically include themes such as solving crimes, drugs and violence. My TV drama is slightly different to a typical crime drama due to the fact it is set from the perspective of a criminal rather than the police. Throughout the series the protagonist is planning a crime whilst helping the police solve other crimes, thus meaning it follows the convention of revolving around crime. In the extract the audience sees some hints towards what crime he’s planning but we don’t find out what it is until the end of the series. 

Todorov’s Narrative Theory states that there are five stages to every narrative: equilibrium, disruption, recognition, repair and new equilibrium. Whilst my screenplay is only a short extract, it includes some of the stages. The start of the extract is the equilibrium, the audience sees the protagonist in his home and going to school. When he arrives at school, he faces people making fun of him which is part of the equilibrium as it is established earlier in the series that he is treated badly by the people around him. The disruption occurs when he is kicked out of his maths class and has a panic attack. The remaining stages would happen throughout the rest of the episode. The extract ends on somewhat of a cliff-hanger as the audience doesn’t find out what happens to him after the panic attack.

Hinting towards crime

In this part of the series, the protagonist has just let a criminal free due to blackmail and is concerned that his relationship with the police has been tainted, for this reason despite his overall positive transformation arc at this stage he falls slightly back to his original ways. This is shown in the extract through the use of voiceovers and the idea that he is planning a crime at the beginning. 

Promotion:

In order to attract the interest of the audience to watch the whole series, I have included gripping aspects of my series and hinted towards wider themes which may appeal to the target audience. This includes mental health; the target audience of 15-21 year olds may relate to this theme and therefore become interested in watching the series. The conflict in my extract comes between the protagonist and the people at school who make fun of him. This is another aspect of the series which can appeal to the audience because many teenagers experience bullying in their life or feel they can relate to the personality of the protagonist.

Protagonist being bullied

The opening scene of the extract where Seth is planning something is the hook because the audience doesn't explicitly find out what he's doing but they do see small hints towards it which would make them want to watch the series to find out what he's doing. 

In order to conform to the BBFC's regulations for what is suitable for anyone aged 15, I have not included any extreme violence, promotion of drug usage or explicit sexual activity. There may be some use of drugs within the series as it relates to crime however this will be portrayed in a negative light to avoid glorifying it to the audience. Furthermore, it will include strong language due to the fact many of the characters are teenagers and therefore likely to use this language, this is permitted under the restrictions of the BBFC. Legal factors that need to be considered when producing a product include defamation and copyright. To avoid any legal issues, I will not include real life brands or products in my series and all characters involved are fictional so no one can be slandered. The groups I am representing in my series, such as the police, will be portrayed in a positive way. 

Target Audience:

The target audience for my series is 15-21 year olds in the UK as this is the demographic of BBC3. More specifically, it is primarily aimed at a male audience in the B-C2 social grade. This is a fairly niche audience which is typical of a BBC3 drama due to their younger audience. 

One way in which my series satisfies the Uses and Gratifications theory is through escapism. Throughout the show, there are various exciting and gripping incidents between the protagonist and other characters. For example, Seth has various interactions with criminals as well as solving the crimes they committed, this would allow the audience to escape and become invested in a different world from their own. 

Similarly, the show also satisfies surveillance through the fact many of the events that occur are abnormal to many teenagers lives. The protagonist, Seth, lives on his own in a caravan and is incredibly intelligent for his age. This is something much of the audience wouldn't be able to relate to and therefore by watching the show they can learn about a different lifestyle to their own. 

My series satisfies personal identity through the protagonist. In the show, the protagonist is a socially awkward, lonely teenager who struggles with his mental health.

Socially awkward

Despite his differences to the average teenager, he is alike to many who face similar struggles. This will allow the audience to relate to some of his experiences and therefore feel more accepted and recognised.

Lastly, the series satisfies personal relationships through the different relationships between the protagonist and the other characters. For example, Seth's relationship with his mother is shown to be difficult and flawed. Some of the audience may be able to relate to this theme and feel as though their personal problems are more normalised and they aren't alone. 

The majority of my characters are teenagers, similarly to the target demographic, thus meaning the audience can relate to their experiences and therefore feel connected to the show. The teenage characters are all different, for example the protagonist is shy and awkward whereas he makes friends with Ruby who's more confident, this allows the audience to relate more to certain characters who they perhaps feel represent them better. 

Ruby's personality

In addition to the relatability of the characters, the protagonist is abnormal in a sense which makes him more interesting than simply being an average teenager and therefore more exciting to watch. His lifestyle as a minor criminal as well as helping the police is unique and the audience will gain an insight into something likely unfamiliar to them.

My show is set in the modern day in a small town. Whilst this isn't necessarily relatable to the entire audience, in the UK it is very common so it is likely to represent many people's homes or places they've visited. The protagonist's home is a caravan park by the sea, his caravan is old and slightly run-down to show his lack of wealth and the sea symbolises his dream for freedom. Throughout the series Seth goes to sit and watch the sea and whilst we aren't explicitly told what he's thinking it is implied that he wants to escape his life and move far away.

Seaside location

Another key location in the series is Seth's school. The school is fairly modern and the pupils around him are clearly much wealthier than Seth, as shown by their clothing compared to his. This creates a clear sense of the protagonist's situation, again we aren't explicitly told but it will be implied in the series that Seth is at the school on a scholarship due to his high level of intelligence. 

Duration:

Due to the use of industry standard formatting, one page of screenplay roughly equals one minute of screen time. This means that my script is approximately 11 minutes in length which fits the brief of it needing to be between 10 and 15 minutes. In total my script has 12 pages due to the additional title page at the beginning. In order to comply with the conventions of script formatting, I used 12pt courier font and the typical alignment. Action blocks are aligned to the far left with the character names centralised (and capitalised) and the dialogue slightly left below the names. Important information is capitalised to ensure it is included. 

Formatting

Feedback:

After being given initial feedback, I have made improvements to my script. Much of this feedback was based around more description being needed. For example, instead of saying 'school' or 'caravan', adding descriptive words to create a better image of what it should look like.

Feedback

Improvement

Another area of feedback I was given was to add transitions such as 'cut to' in between scenes, when editing my final draft I made sure to do this where necessary. 

Feedback

Improvement

I was given feedback to add more detail to certain interactions between characters in order to further develop their relationship and make it more meaningful. In order to act on this I included more dialogue and description in some of the scenes. Lastly, it was suggested I could include camera instructions. I went through and added specific shot types and camera movements to add further interest to the shots and reflect certain emotions. 

Improvement

Feedback

Overall, I feel I succeeded in establishing interesting characters who the audience can sympathise with or dislike. This may entice them to watch the show based on the extract because they feel a connection to the characters and want to know more. In addition, I believe I have created a gripping extract that will create intrigue and leave the audience excited to watch the series to learn more. Lastly, I feel I succeeded in meeting the brief and created an industry standard, correctly formatted extract. 

I could further improve my extract by improving the actual interactions between the characters to be more realistic. I had little idea about the personality of many of the secondary characters so I could consider this and make adaptations to the dialogue. Another improvement I could make is perhaps making more happen within each scene so that each part is properly developed. 

M1 Script Conventions

I was asked to create a script for a 10-15 minute extract from my show 'Inside' to be used as promotion. Due to this I made sure to use a gripping extract which would make the target audience of 15-21 year olds want to watch it. I chose an extract from episode 3 as it establishes key aspects of the plot such as the protagonist's mental health struggle and it ends on him having a panic attack but doesn't conclude what happens to him, thus making the audience want to watch the show to discover more. 

Type of Script:

I used conventions of screenwriting to create a shooting script which would be used by the production team. In order to do this, I included technical instructions such as shot types, transitions and editing instructions. 

Format/Layout:

In compliance with the conventions of screenwriting, I used 12-point courier font so that 1 page of text roughly equals 1 minute of screentime. My script is 11 pages long (excluding the title page) meaning the extract should last around 11 minutes. Another convention I followed is the use of alignment; all text in a script is left aligned but different aspects are indented. Action blocks appear on the left with dialogue indented in the centre of the page and transitions on the far right.

I have used slug lines (highlighted in blue) at the start of each scene to establish 3 key elements of the scene: the location, whether it's set inside or outside and the time of day. Slug lines typically appear capitalised as a way of differentiating from the rest of the text. In my script an example of a slug line is for the opening scene I used 'INT. CARAVAN - LATE AT NIGHT', this informs the production team about the location and how the scene should look. 

Type:

This script is fictional, I have created the story based on things that could happen in real life but with fictional characters and a narrative that I came up with. 

Genre:

My show is a crime drama. In order to conform to this my script uses conventions of crime drama such as involving the police and criminals within the plotline. The protagonist in my show is a criminal and ends up helping the police solve crimes which somewhat subverts typical expectations as the police and criminals would usually be against each other. In addition, my show overlaps with the teen drama subgenre due to the fact it follows a teenage protagonist and another key storyline follows his struggles with mental health and bullying. 

Angle of Article:

The audience acts as an external observer of the events, primarily following the life of Seth, the protagonist. At times the audience will see another character's life through the external viewpoint. 

Technical Language:

Due to my script being a shooting script, I have used technical instructions (highlighted in pink) to inform the production/post-production crew of things that need to be included or happen during filming. For example, I included shot types such as 'close up' as this would inform the cinematographer how to shoot the scene. In addition, I included transitions such as 'cut-to' between scenes and 'fade in' at the beginning.

Parenthetical:

Parentheticals (highlighted in green) are used to tell the actor using the script how they should say certain dialogue. For this extract I used parentheticals such as 'whispering' or 'shouting' to convey the volume the actor should use and therefore hint at their emotion. 

Action:

Action blocks are written in the present tense so that when shooting the actors do exactly as it says in the script. Descriptive language is used to help illustrate what the scene should look like. In my script I used description such as 'run-down' and 'aged' so that the production crew have an idea of the mise-en-scene. Key aspects of the action are capitalised to highlight their importance, for example I capitalised the action 'picks up a picture' because this is an integral shot that needs to be included. 

Dialogue:

In a script, dialogue is written in the present tense and using language that the character would use. This often means dialogue is written informally and using slang. For my script I used some informal language due to the fact many of the characters are teenagers and therefore are likely to use this type of language. 

Linear/non-linear:

My script is linear due to the fact the events occur in chronological order. It starts late at night and continues into the morning. Other parts of my show include flashbacks which would make it non-linear. 

Multi/single-stranded structure:

My TV show is a single-stranded narrative, it follows the protagonist. All other characters included link back to the protagonist in some way. 

Three act structure:

In the first act of this script the audience sees the protagonist planning something in his home. In this part some hints are given as to what he's planning so that the audience begin to question what could be going on. The second act follows Seth going to school and facing a hard time with his fellow classmates, leading to him having a panic attack. Due to the fact this extract is less than 15 minutes it doesn't necessarily include a third act where the resolution occurs, this would happen after the extract.